AHOY INDIA!
Boom! Blast! Bhoosh! Phataak!
India does it again. 5-0 against their arch enemies Pakistan in World Cup encounters.
Did you see the match? Did you see how Sachin played? Did you see Yuvraaj in the field? Did you see Raina handle the Indian innings at the end?
Yes. I did. I am happy. I am ecstatic that the Indian ‘TEAM’ won. But I am not so sure whether to be happy for India.
What!?!? No way man! You don’t even know what you are talking about. I shall leave you to yourself and let you ponder on your own thoughts and get things clear. Ciao
Well, I think I know what I am thinking about. I could be wrong.
Ah. It’s as good as it gets. India winning against Pakistan in the cup finals.
Wait. Was it the finals or the semis? Did India win the World cup?
I felt that when I went out on the road last night after the match. It was a brilliant site. Not because the country’s name was being shouted at every corner of the city but because we were celebrating. We were one. We were exchanging pleasantries with strangers. We had orange and green coloured mithai. The mithai was good. It completely melted on the tongue. Such sweetness. Yummy.
And it was good to see people from both religions rejoicing about how well India played.
Though they did not but what the heck! We won, we go through to the finals and I won’t be surprised if we lift the cup this year.
That’s what India has done. Be an average team with good players but putting an average performance and winning it. That’s what happened in 1983 too.
But let’s talk about yesterday’s match.
Such an uninspired performance, at a point I wanted us to lose. Sachin dropped 4 TIMES. Is this a joke?
India played pathetically. Pakistan on the other hand, no sympathies. You were worse. You were unbelievable.
It was completely fixed. More so after the Pakistan minister’s statement to his team – “I have my eyes on you on match fixing”. What a sweet cover.
If the match wasn’t fixed then Pakistan needs to give up their cricket team status and utilize those 11 men in something more worthwhile. No, I don’t mean terrorism.
First of all, the unbelievable missed catches of Sachin. What? Did you eat too much butter last night and your hands were still oily? And he still couldn’t make his hundred.
Misbah ul haq. Come on! You can’t play like that. Even Sunil Gavaskar’s 150 ball 36 seemed faster than what you did. Look closely how you never even tried to run or place the ball in a favourable position. Boss! You are my MAN OF THE MATCH! I bet the bookies will be at you for making things a little too obvious.
Mr. Umar Gul. My favourite with all due respect. Sir, I can bowl better than that and the last time I bowled was in 1998. My dead uncle can field better than that. And to top it all with a cherry on top, your precious smile! The toothpastes in your country are brilliant. I want a lifetime supply. Who laughs at their own stupid mistakes, SO OFTEN!
Anyways, sir, you are my MAN OF THE SERIES. Congratulations.
Shahid Afridi. No jokes on you. You were brilliant. You were the only one who was putting in an effort and to my amazement; you were also the most spirited guy among the 22 players. The way you joked around and controlled your aggression and smiled at Sachin when he was dropped. Priceless. That was the most touching moment of the match and thank god I was not sleeping at that part or you would’ve been ignored completely. But I want to personally congratulate you on getting thus far in the world cup and bitch about your team members and I would be delighted to invite you for dinner over to my place where my lovely girl will cook us some nice fish and rice while we talk, listening to Sufi music. We can order food if the fish doesn’t turn out palatable. But you get the SPORTSMAN OF THE YEAR.
Wahab Riaz. 5 wickets with a brilliant Yorker first up to Yuvraaj Singh. You should be in the IPL. Your performance said it all and I don’t want to ruin it by my words. You get the BEST BOWLER award.
The terrorists (MTV Bakra award) If I were one and sitting next to the Indian or the Pakistani Prime minister with 2 grenades in my hand during the match. I would walk back home. Our Excellencies were just too good. I am sure many who planned to attack them yesterday must’ve thought of them to be a replica from Madame Tussads!
Nice play minister, you fooled us all!
But the BEST OF THE BEST award.
Brilliantly done. It would’ve been better if our neighbours would’ve been a little subtle. We all know Pakistanis aren’t good actors (look at Umer sharif) so maybe next time, give them a little extra to take up acting classes a month before the tournament. Maybe come down to bollywood.
All hail! Money well spent?
Now I know where all of it is going. All the programs and commissions and scams’ money is utilized for us to celebrate. For us to celebrate together and what better way than this.
We people are happy and will be for many months now and other scams can happen just to make us celebrate again once more. All is well.
Ah.
Now we can continue losing matches for the next 30 years.
Boom! Blast! Bhoosh! Phataak!
India does it again. 5-0 against their arch enemies Pakistan in World Cup encounters.
Did you see the match? Did you see how Sachin played? Did you see Yuvraaj in the field? Did you see Raina handle the Indian innings at the end?
Yes. I did. I am happy. I am ecstatic that the Indian ‘TEAM’ won. But I am not so sure whether to be happy for India.
What!?!? No way man! You don’t even know what you are talking about. I shall leave you to yourself and let you ponder on your own thoughts and get things clear. Ciao
Well, I think I know what I am thinking about. I could be wrong.
Ah. It’s as good as it gets. India winning against Pakistan in the cup finals.
Wait. Was it the finals or the semis? Did India win the World cup?
I felt that when I went out on the road last night after the match. It was a brilliant site. Not because the country’s name was being shouted at every corner of the city but because we were celebrating. We were one. We were exchanging pleasantries with strangers. We had orange and green coloured mithai. The mithai was good. It completely melted on the tongue. Such sweetness. Yummy.
And it was good to see people from both religions rejoicing about how well India played.
Though they did not but what the heck! We won, we go through to the finals and I won’t be surprised if we lift the cup this year.
That’s what India has done. Be an average team with good players but putting an average performance and winning it. That’s what happened in 1983 too.
But let’s talk about yesterday’s match.
Such an uninspired performance, at a point I wanted us to lose. Sachin dropped 4 TIMES. Is this a joke?
India played pathetically. Pakistan on the other hand, no sympathies. You were worse. You were unbelievable.
It was completely fixed. More so after the Pakistan minister’s statement to his team – “I have my eyes on you on match fixing”. What a sweet cover.
If the match wasn’t fixed then Pakistan needs to give up their cricket team status and utilize those 11 men in something more worthwhile. No, I don’t mean terrorism.
First of all, the unbelievable missed catches of Sachin. What? Did you eat too much butter last night and your hands were still oily? And he still couldn’t make his hundred.
Misbah ul haq. Come on! You can’t play like that. Even Sunil Gavaskar’s 150 ball 36 seemed faster than what you did. Look closely how you never even tried to run or place the ball in a favourable position. Boss! You are my MAN OF THE MATCH! I bet the bookies will be at you for making things a little too obvious.
Mr. Umar Gul. My favourite with all due respect. Sir, I can bowl better than that and the last time I bowled was in 1998. My dead uncle can field better than that. And to top it all with a cherry on top, your precious smile! The toothpastes in your country are brilliant. I want a lifetime supply. Who laughs at their own stupid mistakes, SO OFTEN!
Anyways, sir, you are my MAN OF THE SERIES. Congratulations.
Shahid Afridi. No jokes on you. You were brilliant. You were the only one who was putting in an effort and to my amazement; you were also the most spirited guy among the 22 players. The way you joked around and controlled your aggression and smiled at Sachin when he was dropped. Priceless. That was the most touching moment of the match and thank god I was not sleeping at that part or you would’ve been ignored completely. But I want to personally congratulate you on getting thus far in the world cup and bitch about your team members and I would be delighted to invite you for dinner over to my place where my lovely girl will cook us some nice fish and rice while we talk, listening to Sufi music. We can order food if the fish doesn’t turn out palatable. But you get the SPORTSMAN OF THE YEAR.
Wahab Riaz. 5 wickets with a brilliant Yorker first up to Yuvraaj Singh. You should be in the IPL. Your performance said it all and I don’t want to ruin it by my words. You get the BEST BOWLER award.
The terrorists (MTV Bakra award) If I were one and sitting next to the Indian or the Pakistani Prime minister with 2 grenades in my hand during the match. I would walk back home. Our Excellencies were just too good. I am sure many who planned to attack them yesterday must’ve thought of them to be a replica from Madame Tussads!
Nice play minister, you fooled us all!
But the BEST OF THE BEST award.
Brilliantly done. It would’ve been better if our neighbours would’ve been a little subtle. We all know Pakistanis aren’t good actors (look at Umer sharif) so maybe next time, give them a little extra to take up acting classes a month before the tournament. Maybe come down to bollywood.
All hail! Money well spent?
Now I know where all of it is going. All the programs and commissions and scams’ money is utilized for us to celebrate. For us to celebrate together and what better way than this.
We people are happy and will be for many months now and other scams can happen just to make us celebrate again once more. All is well.
Ah.
Now we can continue losing matches for the next 30 years.
